Kat had been right to warn me about him in the first place, but there's a point where passion takes over and the overriding of logic goes unnoticed.
I no longer saw a man who could move me with the slightest touch or perfect word.
I saw a man who was growing old before his time, with thinning hair and always a drink in hand. I saw a man headed toward alcoholism, who would never be happy because he was so skilled in making himself miserable, behind the cover of a pointless job every day and meaningless bar gatherings every night. I saw a man so obsessed with one thing, one person, that he would forever let it affect everything he thought and did.
I saw weakness and I finally saw someone who was everything I never wanted and never wanted to be with, which scared me. How could I have put so much into someone like that?
Dahlia continued giggling in that way she had. It was the way that I had fallen in love with at first, but now it just disgusted me.
"That's okay," I said eventually, looking up. Dahlia's giggling ceased and Ben raised his eyes to me. "It's okay. You know why?" I stood, and felt Kat take my hand. She had rarely offered comfort throughout it all, but I knew she considered me a friend to her and sensed that I needed the feeling of support. I ignored Dahlia, looking Ben directly in the eye. She didn't deserve attention. She was just a little girl playing games, and she could find someone new for that. It was Ben that I felt angry with, and betrayed by.
"I may be a joke to you, and that's okay." He kept a straight face. "Because you're a joke to everyone else."
I never saw his response to that. Kat tugged my hand, leading me out of the building.
I had expected to feel heartbreak, or anger. I had expected to be overwhelmed with breaking off from him.
But at that moment, the only feeling I had was of freedom.
The story was almost over.
all of the glory is a pantomime;
if you're looking for love in a looking glass world,
it's pretty hard to find"
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