Dear You

What are you doing now, at what place?
Are you at a place where this sky continues into?

I lost that which has buried my heart until now
And noticed it for the first time
The fact that you had been supporting me this much
The fact that you had been giving me smiles this much

The price of having lost it is way too preposterously great
And I desperately reach out my hands and struggle to recover it, but-
It slips by just like the wind; it looks like I'll reach it but I don't

My chest is tightened by loneliness and despair
And my heart seems to break
But your smile that remains in my memories
Always encourages me

Let's return to that time again
I'm sure that we'll be all right this time
I'll always laugh by your side

What are you doing now, at what place?
Are you at a place where this sky continues into?
Will you be there with a smile like always?
Now I simply keep wishing for that...
- "Dear You - Vocal -"; Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

I loved you.
For three years.
Unquestioningly. When you were gone I missed you, and times like the disastrous relationship with Mark, you were the one I wanted back all along.

When you came back, I was here. This time though... I don't think I can do it. Hopefully you won't come back at all, but... if you do? It's just too late. I'm too good to be the consolation prize after all of this. After the day I've had, trying to fix all the damage she has done, without your interference.
I'll miss you. I'll miss your smile and the way you laughed.
I'll miss your drawings and the beautiful messages you wrote me.

The days without you stretched on as if they would never end, and the nights with you were amazing.
Let her go away, and leave the memory untarnished.

She can try to ruin it all. She can try to say all of these things, and post my photos online. She can change your online accounts to call me names.
But she can never touch what we had, whether it was sincere or not.
It felt sincere, and that's what matters.

Somewhere, someday... I hope we're reborn again, and can be friends without the complications.
Some day, in another life, I want to meet you.
You always said "If only I'd met you first."

I'll be in the video store, looking for J-horror movies, and run into the cute Filipino boy who seems to know everything.
I'll laugh as he points out something horrifyingly graphic and details the "best" scenes, and we'll decide to get coffee because we like the same games and shows. It will be that instant connection all over again.

I've come this far and worked this hard.
I'd like to believe it will mean something someday.

But for now, dear you, it's time to say goodbye again.
See you, Space Cowboy?