Do you want to play?

“Are you in the game?”

These days I would have said no and walked away. I always wonder how to step into this story after that line. I’m tempted to begin by explaining that I was twenty-two, stupid, and considered myself hopelessly in love, but sometimes I wonder if it needs a little more background than that.

No matter where I go next though, this always has to start with Ben’s question because those were the five words that have shaped everything I’ve become: “Are you in the game?”

Kat shook her head, her violet bob bouncing in a neat circle around her face as she did so.

“Fuck that, man. It’s like goddamn Russian roulette without bullets.” Despite being the quietest, she had always been sort of the leader of the pack for them (and now us, though I still didn’t see myself as a full part of the circle) and it was surprising to see her step away. I was hesitating at that point, because the whole idea sounded dramatic, risky, and honestly just frightening.

“I’m in.”

That was what got me to join as well.

You see, fairy tales like to tell you about how a princess meets her prince and true love carries them through forever. What they do not tell you about are when princess meets princess and chemistry rapidly turns into destruction. They don’t tell you how much of a headrush it is to meet someone who you think must have been made for you and who gets you.

They certainly don’t tell you that this rush of passion will destroy you from the inside out if you let it. Passion is beautiful, but it’s just as dangerous as any other drug and it’s too easy to fall into the trap of pursuing something without realizing that you will never quite have it the way you want.

But who can blame me? Dahlia was beautiful, inside and out. Or at least I thought she was beautiful on the inside back then. I thought she was the most gorgeous creature in existence. At that time she was a brunette but her penchant for being noticed had her waiting eagerly to dye it a bright forest green, which she would do shortly after everything wrapped up. She kept it long, putting it up in clips and under hats, and when she let it down she looked like some kind of urban goddess.

I didn’t usually go for anyone younger, but she was just twenty, which seemed fine enough to me. Two years wasn’t such a big deal, and I was already breaking my own rules by wanting any woman so much in the first place.

So anyway, that was what got me into “the game.” I’d have followed her to the ends of the earth, and didn’t want her to see a coward when she looked at me from then on. Kat could step out if she wanted, but I was going to participate and pull through with a bang.

“I’ll play.” I glanced quickly at Dahlia and saw her lips form a knowing smile. In hindsight it seemed a little sinister. I guess she always knew that I would let her push me in whatever direction she wanted and I guess she must have found that fascinating, knowing what I know now.

One by one, the entire table responded. Kat and Michelle were the only ones to opt out and Kat’s eyes flashed darkly when her not-quite-boyfriend Peter announced his intention to join with a grin. It was a risky bet and we all knew it. I think she was the only one who knew just how thin the ice was though.

Ben downed another vodka shot and leaned forward. There was a genuine amusement in his eyes.

I guess I really should have started worrying much earlier than I ever did. Especially when he turned his gaze onto me before addressing the group.

“Friday night. Same place. I’ll bring the rules and the details. It’s your last chance to back out.”